Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
