The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
