In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
