i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
