i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It's just like the Real World with babies
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
