Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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