Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize