what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
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