Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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