My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
No stitches, just platelets and will power
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Shame - the story of my life.
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