I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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