I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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