I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
