THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
