i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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