I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Can I color on your dick again?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
