White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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