would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
