We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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