Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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