The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
