You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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