Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
try to milk me bitch
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
