Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
