Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
