you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize