Pappa wants mamma naked
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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