I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
