I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
