Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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