dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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