Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
