i wish peter jackson would direct porn
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
