you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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