Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
