Sponge bath it is.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
