So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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