How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
