So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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