Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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