How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
