whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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