I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You can't just leave with hair like that
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
