he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
