totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
