uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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