I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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