My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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