Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
