She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
