I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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