I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize