If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
