With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
