big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Boobs speak an international language.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Randomize
