is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
All the doctor said was why
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
