Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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