4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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