do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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