Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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